halloween cards / thanksgiving cards

Boo and gobble, you magnificent weirdo.

Welcome to the snarkiest corner of fall. This is where funny halloween cards, spooky greetings, and humorous thanksgiving cards live — clever, sarcastic cards for people whose "happy hauntings" comes with an eye-roll. From snarky halloween cards for coworkers to rude thanksgiving cards for the relatives, every card here skips the yawn and goes straight for the laugh.

Whether you're breaking the ice at thanksgiving dinner, weirding out the office pumpkin contest, or reminding your best friend they're a real treat (no tricks), these clever fall cards say what you're actually thinking. Every card ships FREE, so the only thing you're paying for is greatness.

Fair warning: the headless horseman has opinions about your taste in cards, and he's into it. And hey — while you're here, get a jump on December with our funny Christmas cards. Future you says thanks.

44 products

Funny Halloween candy card joking about handing out tiny 'bite me sized' candy bars
i’ll be handing out those tiny candy bars / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
Cute Halloween card that reads: witching you a happy halloween
witching you a happy halloween / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
Funny Halloween party card that reads: let's get smashed
let's get smashed / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
Funny Thanksgiving pie card that reads: you rarely see a person crying and eating pie at the same time
rarely see a person crying and eating pie / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
I ain't cooking shit funny thanksgiving card
i ain't cooking shit / thanksgiving card
No reviews
A greeting card with the text 'Happy Thanksgiving. May your turkey be moist and may no one use that word to describe it.
may your turkey be moist / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
A greeting card with the text 'THANKFUL FOR FAT PANTS' printed on it,
thankful for fat pants / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
halloween greeting card with bats and the text: it's frickin bats i love halloween
it's frickin bats  / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
vintage witch graphic halloween card that says: The moon has awoken with the sleep of the sun, the light has been broken; the spell has begun
the moon has awoken the spell has begun  / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
halloween greeting card that features a sepia-toned illustration of three black ravens with the text 'MEET ME WHERE THE RAVENS GATHER'.
meet me where the ravens gather / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
A halloween greeting card with a gothic style Halloween illustration of candles, a jack-o'-lantern, and the text 'spooky season loading.
spooky season loading / halloween card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
funny thanksgiving card that reads: happy thanksgving don't forget to set your scales back 10 lbs wednesday night
don't forget to set your scales back 10 lbs / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
funny thanksgiving card with a retro couple laughing at dinner that says: going to glaze the turkey with LSD this year. then we will see who has their shit together
going to glaze the turkey with LSD this year / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5
A novelty greeting card with a vintage-style illustration of a man in a red suit pointing forward, with text that reads: be sure to bring up politics at thanksgiving dinner. it’s going to save you money on christmas gifts.  follow me for more holiday tips
be sure to bring up politics / thanksgiving card
Rating: 5.0 out of 5