i googled my symptoms. turns out...i'm a bitch / greeting card

You may be a bitch... but at least you're honest. Great card to make someone laugh - or as an apology or "i'm sorry" card when you've been...well you know...a bitch.

OUTSIDE:

"i googled my symptoms. turns out...i'm a bitch"

INSIDE:

blank for you to write your own personal sentiment.

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INCLUDES

✔ A2 size (4.25 x 5.5") card printed on matte card stock - landscape orientation.

✔ A2 size brown kraft self sealing envelope

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SHIPPING

✔ Any order of 5 or less cards DOES NOT come with a USPS tracking number unless you choose to pay for upgraded shipping at checkout ($3.50 first class or $8 for priority). With the free shipping, they are shipped similar to a letter with a stamp, and although Etsy will call it a tracking number it is RARELY accurate and not at all reliable. It will often times say delivered but that doesn't mean it is delivered to you, and other times it will say pre-transit even though it was mailed days ago. So if you prefer to be able to track your card please opt to pay the additional shipping option at checkout.

✔ CANADA FRIENDS: Cards are always shipped USPS First Class International, for a rate of $9.50. This is whether you have 1 card or 20 cards. As you may know, this shipping can be pretty slow, so please be patient and take that into account when ordering! All Canada orders come with tracking.

✔ Please note USPS can be pretty slow in some cases - many times my cards arrive in 2-5 days, but other times, it can take 12 or more! Please contact me if you haven't received it after 14 business days of shipping.

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✔Each card is designed, printed, folded and sent with love from the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota!

follow me on instagram! : www.instagram.com/quirkycardcompany

follow me on facebook! : www.facebook.com/quirkycardcompany

THANKS FOR YOUR ORDER. GRANNY WOULD BE PROUD :)

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ehhh...the "NOT SO FINE" print:

GUYS - things can happen to mail. I'd like to say USPS is awesome, but granny didn't raise no liar.

✔ Lost cards: this can happen - if you don't have your card after 14 business days (longer during the holidays cuz they're slow as molasses) please reach out to me. I will make it right - cuz I'm awesome even if USPS isn't.

✔ Returned cards: if a card is returned due to you inputting the wrong address or because you have moved, I can't just resend it to you at my expense. Sorry, but I gotta make a little money on my cards. I will resend it to you after you have paid me for the postage to resend and the cost of a new envelope to put it in.

✔ Damaged: very rarely a card may get damaged by USPS - this is not my fault - and it sucks for BOTH of us. Since my cards are not insured USPS doesn't care about us. In these rare cases, I will refund you HALF of the purchase price.