{"product_id":"salty-old-bastard-birthday-card","title":"salty old bastard \/ birthday card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIf your favorite grumpy old legend has been \"seasoning\" for years, this novelty birthday card is the perfect way to remind them they've officially become a \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003esalty old bastard\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e—and everyone loves them for it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for dads, husbands, brothers, grandpas, best friends, coworkers, or anyone who's earned every wrinkle and every ounce of attitude. Whether they're turning 40, 50, 60, 70, or beyond, this hilarious birthday card celebrates getting older with plenty of salt and zero apologies.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"isSelectedEnd\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFunny birthday gift\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSarcastic birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGag birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHusband birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDad birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBrother birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGrandpa birthday card\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBest friend birthday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCoworker birthday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnyone who appreciates inappropriate humor\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOUTSIDE\u003c\/span\u003e:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"congratulations. after years of seasoning, you’re officially a \u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003esalty old bastard. happy birthday\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eINSIDE:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eblank for you to write your own personal sentiment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e◆◆◆◆◆◆◆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eINCLUDES\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✔ A2 size (4.25 x 5.5\") card printed on matte card stock - landscape orientation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✔ A2 size brown kraft \u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003eself sealing envelope.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003e◆◆◆◆◆◆◆\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003eDISCOUNTS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"list-style-type: disc;\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3 cards for $13\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e6 cards for $26\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e9 cards for $39\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e15 cards for $65\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003eabove discounts are automatically applied at checkout\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"list-style-type: disc;\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eare they all so awesome you can't narrow it down? I offer 15% off 50 cards or more!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emust enter code 15PERVENTOVER50 at checkout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e◆◆◆◆◆◆◆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"display: block; margin: 0 0 1em 0; line-height: 1.4;\"\u003eSHIPPING\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"list-style-type: square;\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eall cards ship free using U.S. Postal Service (USPS)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eorders of 5 cards or less - NO TRACKING - think letter with a stamp.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eorders of 6 cards or more - TRACKING INCLUDED - no upgrade needed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ewant tracking on orders of 5 cards or less? upgrade to Ground Advantage for $5.00 or Priority Mail for $9\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✔ Please note USPS can be pretty slow in some cases - many times my cards arrive in 2-5 days, but other times, it can take 12 or more! Please contact me if you haven't received it after 14 business days of shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Quirky Card Company","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":54843140047167,"sku":null,"price":4.85,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0796\/5523\/9999\/files\/after_years_of_seasoning_salty_old_bastard_lp.jpg?v=1785431018","url":"https:\/\/quirkycardcompany.com\/products\/salty-old-bastard-birthday-card","provider":"Quirky Card Company","version":"1.0","type":"link"}